Finishing sooner than you’d like is one of the most common sexual worries men have, and it can knock your confidence. The good news is that there are simple ways to learn how to last longer in bed, and effective treatments if you need them.
This guide covers what premature ejaculation is, 7 practical tips from the NHS and MedlinePlus, the treatments a doctor can offer, and when it’s worth getting checked.
Key takeaways
- Finishing too soon now and then is common and not a cause for concern, the NHS says.
- The stop-start and squeeze techniques help many men, and MedlinePlus says most men can learn to control ejaculation.
- If it keeps happening and bothers you, see a doctor. Counseling, medicines and numbing products can help.
How to last longer in bed
To last longer in bed, try the stop-start or squeeze technique, masturbate an hour or two before sex, use a thicker condom, and try positions where your partner can pause things, like your partner on top. Ease performance worry by talking with your partner. If it keeps happening, a doctor can suggest counseling or medicines that help.
What is premature ejaculation?
MedlinePlus defines premature ejaculation as reaching orgasm sooner than desired during sex. The NHS calls it a common problem and says occasional episodes are common and nothing to worry about. It’s worth looking into if it happens more often than you’d like and is a problem for you or your partner.
What causes it
MedlinePlus says it’s thought to be caused by psychological factors or physical problems. The NHS lists:
| Type | Possible causes (NHS) |
|---|---|
| Psychological | Depression, stress, relationship problems, worry about sexual performance |
| Past experiences | Early sexual experiences, past trauma, a strict upbringing about sex |
| Physical | Prostate problems, thyroid problems, recreational drug use |
MedlinePlus adds that long-lasting premature ejaculation can sometimes be linked to anxiety or depression, so looking after your mental health matters too. Our guide to men’s mental health covers the warning signs.
7 tips to last longer
These are the main self-help steps for how to last longer in bed. Most take a little practice, so give them a few weeks.
1. The stop-start technique
During stimulation, stop just before you feel you’re about to climax and wait about 30 seconds, MedlinePlus explains. Then start again. Repeat a few times before allowing yourself to finish. Practice alone first, then with a partner.
2. The squeeze technique
When you’re close, you or your partner gently squeeze the head of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds, the NHS says, then wait before carrying on. Repeat several times.
3. Masturbate beforehand
The NHS suggests masturbating an hour or two before sex, which can help you last longer the second time.
4. Use a thicker condom
A thicker condom can reduce sensation, the NHS says, and MedlinePlus notes condoms may have this effect for some men.
5. Try your partner on top
The NHS suggests having sex with your partner on top, so they can pull away when you’re close.
6. Train your pelvic floor
Pelvic floor muscles help control ejaculation. In a small 2014 study in Therapeutic Advances in Urology, 33 of 40 men with lifelong premature ejaculation gained control after 12 weeks of pelvic floor rehabilitation. It had no comparison group, so the results are promising but not proven.
7. Ease the pressure
Worry about performance is a known cause, the NHS says. Slow down, focus on the whole experience rather than the finish, and talk openly with your partner. Many couples find that taking the pressure off is the simplest answer to how to last longer in bed.
Treatments from a doctor
If self-help doesn’t show you how to last longer in bed, a doctor has several options, according to the NHS and MedlinePlus:
- Psychosexual counseling: a therapist can help you, and your partner if you have one, with sex-related worries.
- Medicines: some antidepressants called SSRIs can increase the time it takes to ejaculate. Dapoxetine is an SSRI designed for premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction medicines like sildenafil may also help.
- Numbing creams or sprays: local anesthetics like lidocaine can reduce sensation. The NHS notes they can pass to a partner, so a condom can be used with them.
Don’t buy “last longer” pills online. The FDA has warned about sexual enhancement products with hidden drugs; our guide to honey pack risks explains why.
When to see a doctor
See a doctor if premature ejaculation keeps happening and it bothers you, the NHS advises, or if it doesn’t improve with the methods above, MedlinePlus says. It’s a common problem doctors are used to talking about. They may examine you or refer you to a specialist, and can check for causes like prostate or thyroid problems.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a man last in bed?
There is no right number. The NHS says premature ejaculation is ejaculating sooner than you or your partner would like, and occasional episodes are common. What matters is whether it is a problem for you.
What exercises help men last longer in bed?
The stop-start and squeeze techniques are the main behavioral exercises recommended by the NHS and MedlinePlus. Pelvic floor training also showed promise in a small 2014 study, where 33 of 40 men gained control after 12 weeks.
How do I last longer in bed naturally?
Try the stop-start or squeeze technique, masturbate an hour or two before sex, use a thicker condom and try positions with your partner on top, as the NHS suggests. Reducing stress and talking with your partner also help.
Is premature ejaculation permanent?
Usually not. MedlinePlus says it often improves without treatment, and in most cases men can learn to control ejaculation. If it continues, counseling and medicines can help.
Do numbing sprays work for premature ejaculation?
Local anesthetic creams or sprays such as lidocaine can reduce sensation and help, the NHS says. They can transfer to a partner and numb them too, so using a condom with them is an option.
Can anxiety cause premature ejaculation?
Yes. The NHS lists stress, depression, relationship problems and worry about sexual performance among the psychological causes. MedlinePlus notes that long-lasting premature ejaculation may sometimes be linked to anxiety or depression.
When should I see a doctor about lasting longer?
See a doctor if it keeps happening and bothers you, or if self-help techniques have not worked. They can talk through options such as counseling, medicines or numbing products, and check for physical causes.
The bottom line
Learning how to last longer in bed usually starts with simple steps: the stop-start and squeeze techniques, a thicker condom, less pressure and an open talk with your partner. Occasional early finishing is common, and most men can learn more control. If it keeps happening and bothers you, see a doctor about counseling or medicines that help.